Mello Yello. Doesn't the name sound soothing? It sounds like a nighttime hot tea that makes you drowsy. If given the choice, based on moniker alone, between Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, and Mello Yello for a preschooler; it seems like a no-brainer. Forget that it's laden with sugar and fizzy pop snappiness. It's mellow, for goodness' sake! Besides, I never see it around, have no idea what it is, other than its citrus flavor, and it seemed novel at the time.
Well...Sunday morning, just before our sound check, I was getting set up and changing some settings on the piano. I heard one of the guitarists behind me:
"Uh, so. I read your blog the other day about the Mello Yello?" It was a statement, but he ended it with a rising pitch as though he didn't quite understand me fully and needed more information.
"Oh, yeah?" I said, turning around on the piano bench.
"Um, yeah. Did you know that Mello Yello is Coca-Cola's version of Mt. Dew? It's got a TON of caffeine in it." His eyes were wide. He's a parent. He knows.
Holy Bad Mothering, Batman!
My eyes got huge. "Are you serious?" I said out loud.
"Are you a MORON?" I asked myself via inner monologue. "Good thing you displayed it for the world on the Internet." No, seriously, good thing. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us we're making a terrible, terrible mistake.
I quickly did a mental check to see if that day had ended very badly, then relief spread across my face. When we had gotten home from that Walmart trip, I noted in awe that Levi had gone straight to the refrigerator and put the Mello Yello in there, with only about an inch of liquid missing from the top. I remember marveling that he didn't drink more.
"Oh, wow," I said as the recollection dawned, and I told our guitarist how God totally had us covered and didn't let Levi finish it.
He laughed, "Well, I just kept wondering when Levi would come down from orbiting space, and I kept thinking, 'Does she know? Nah, surely she knows. Should I say something?'"
I was like, "Man, especially with stuff like that, and with me, always say something!!" For the sake of all that is lovely...
The Moral of the Story: Levi + Mello Yello = NOT MELLOW
And Also: Yahweh is awesome and has us covered even, and especially, when we're babbling baboons.
Now for Round 2 of the "Pee in the Toilet Water" parable.
My mom's in town! Yea! Sunday afternoon after church, she was playing with Levi in the living room, then she excused herself to go to the bathroom.
Levi caught her attention to relay something very important. "Grandmama, only pee in the toilet water, OK?"
She just raised her eyebrows, "OK."
We have standards, people.
(Yes, yes, you're right: clearly not with Mello Yello, but I promise, with everything else...?)
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