Weird Strangers Lurking

These two thin towers have been following me around, and I've been totally oblivious to it.  They're kind of like skinny columns, I guess, but flat rather than in 3D, totally equal to each other. 

I just recently got this crazy longing to go some degree of blonde.  If you think that's strange, it really is, but I'm all about it, reason be tossed to the winds.  I haven't dyed my hair in years, and to choose the right shade for me can be tricky since all my features are so dark, but my Vermont skin is pretty pale.  And my mom always says that my natural shade is the absolute best on me.  I agree with her, but no matter.  I'm feeling the blonde.  Little did I know, though, these weird tower-line-guys were shaking their heads in disapproval.  Are they working for my mom?  For "What Not to Wear?"  Whatever.  I didn't even know they were there.

I also have a slight personal vendetta against artificial sweetener, though I know that many respectable people insist they are perfectly fine.  However, on very rare occasions, I'll reach for a diet soda (normally if I want a soda, I just get the regular, delicious, full-sugar variety).  I bought a Coke Zero the other day and ended up placing the nearly-full bottle in the fridge, because it just was pretty nasty.  Meanwhile, the tower-line-guys applauded me for refusing the remainder of my beverage.  I get it: I don't like artificial sweetener either.

Why do they care so much about my health and beauty choices?  Well, I've been calling them tower-line-guys, but maybe they're girls.

I've recently been pushing myself to get more water.  As I chug a bottle each morning to start my day on the right track, the tower-line-guys high-five each other and nod their encouragement in my direction.

If there was just one of them, I've come to find out, it would be a totally different story.  If there's just one tower-line-guy, he (or she?) is much more forgiving about what I do.  This one doesn't really care.  But you get two, and look out!  They're all up in your business!

So just who the heck are these...uh...line-guys?  I say again that I had no idea they even existed until the one day I was just not feeling well.  And you know how much they care about health and wellness.  What are they?  The lifestyle police?  Personal trainers?  So maybe I'm not in picture-perfect shape...back off!  Then my friend made a suggestion to me about something that might make me feel better.

I was stunned at her suggestion.  But it's how I met these line-guys.  I followed her advice, waited a couple minutes, then suddenly turned around, and there they were!

Lines.  Two of them.  Grinning from ear to ear.  And pink. 

Yep.  I'm pregnant!

(For more information, please see "On Giving Birth to My IUD.")